Ethereal Queen

2008-06-26T07:09:00.001-07:00

OK, this is not my usual thing, but this was sent to me this morning and I found it strengthening. I hope you do too. Peace, Sallie

I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, 'I love you and I wishyou enough'. The daughter replied, 'Mom , our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom'. They kissed and the daughter left.

The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'. Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, But why is this a forever good-bye?'. 'I amold and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said. '

When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?'. She began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone'. She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. 'When we said , 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them'. Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.

High School Reunion

2008-06-16T08:26:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't written here in a long time - been editing and writing until my hands ached and my chair and I had a custom fit! In the midst of our long, hot summer, my husband and I went to our high school reunion in San Antonio. We graduated from high school in the Philippines in 1972 and occasionally many different years get together in various places for a party. This was the first one I ever went to and had a completely wonderful time. I met old friends, made new ones, was glad I married my high school sweet heart. We took Amtrak - and other than running perpetually 3-5 hours late, really had a great time. This is the first vacation we've taken in years and it was amazing to see that human beings that emerged as the days passed and we had more to do or talk about than work, schedules, or stressors. The last time we saw most of these people at the reunion, we were 18. As the week unfolded, we talked about our life together and I knew, once more, that I made a very good choice in the man I am spending the rest of my life with. We're certainly not the same people we were in 1972 (thank God), but the foundation of the odd events that brought us, brought an entire generation to a place so far from home, shaped us, made us strong, tore us down, built us up, and prepared us for the amazing journey that we're on. Now, back to work!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Almost There!

2008-05-18T09:18:00.000-07:00

I hesistate to speak definitevly, but I think we're almost finished with our move. A few more boxes to get from point A to point B and then a cleaning of our old office, and we're out of that one. Of course, we still have all the boxes to unpack at our new office and find a home for all of our stuff (where did it all come from??), but at least we'll be working out of one location this week. Just in time for our 6th birthday on Friday! Yep, six years ago this coming Friday, Committed to Freedom incorporated and formed an independent 501(c)(3). What began in the early 1990's under the umbrella of Teen Challenge of Arkansas finally grew to become independent then. We've come a long way, but still have a long way to go. One trend I'd like to end is that this is our 5th office move in 6 years. Ugh.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Mother's Day 1998

2008-05-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

It was ten years ago this Mother's Day that I was in Sedona, Arizona, in the desert with my beautiful daughter. It was the end of a long, hellish experience of broken family and shattered dreams. Through many days of walking her trails, meeting those who were in the desert with her, and getting her Jeep ready to come home, we prepared to come home together and begin the difficult process of repairing our relationship, our home, our lives. Before we left Sedona, my daughter and I went to church together. It was Mother's Day. I have never had a more extravagant Mother's Day before or since. Today, I thank God for our restored relationship, our second chance.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Lightning and Moving

2008-05-08T04:19:00.001-07:00

Last night, just as we were moving our office furniture, a huge thunderstorm moved in - terrible lightning. Our new office is on the 2nd floor of a downtown historic building, and we thought we had the parking situation covered, but that plan fell through when our spot for the truck was taken. Everything was soaked - us, the great guys from Teen Challenge who helped us move, and our furniture. Nothing's easy I guess. Today, we move boxes of books, supplies, and work to get our office back in some kind of working order. This office is smaller than our last one, so we've got a challenge as to where we store much of our inventory and retreat equipment. One challenge at a time. Computers, our network, and our internet situation should be back up to speed by tomorrow evening.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Nashville and Moving

2008-05-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

I returned from Nashville after I taught a Beyond Abuse seminar for Midtown Fellowship. The seminar went great and I was so happy to see a room full of both men and women who were determined to learn important new tools for their own journeys or those of their friends or partners.

We started packing a bit yesterday in preparation for moving our offices this week. Today is the heavy packing and preparation day and tomorrow evening, a moving crew from Teen Challenge will swoop in and get our furniture up to our new office. We have been deeply moved by the sacrificial financial support we have received from great friends of our work. It is expensive to move - to get services and utilities changed over, etc. We are so encouraged by those who have join us in making this possible.

Well, I've got on my jeans and Tshirt on and will probably put in a very long day for the next few days. We'll all be glad when this is over!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Emergency Move

2008-05-02T04:37:00.001-07:00

Ugh. Due to circumstances beyond our control, we're having to move our offices next week. This puts a much greater burden on us financially, and we're already strained as it is. I leave for Nashville, TN in a few hours to teach a Beyond Abuse seminar for Midtown Fellowship. I get back late Sunday and then we move next week. All this in the middle of grad school, preparing for a retreat in June, working on a new retreat manual, and putting together information for the publisher of my new book, Connected Voices.

Oh! That's a really big development! I have a contract with NavPress to publish my book!! It's a deal and we hope this will be on bookshelves (or at least released) by March 2009. It's going to be a full year, to say the least.

The new office space will probably work much better for us, but right now, the idea of moving an entire office (AGAIN!!) just makes me tired! If you can help us with monthly support to offset these additional expenses, we could really use the help. Thanks!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Food

2008-04-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

I was at the grocery store this week. I live in America, which means that our stores are packed with enormous quantities of food in almost unlimited varieties. As I put a bag of pre-washed, pre-cut carrots in my cart, I wondered when it would be our turn to stare at empty shelves. I am concerned about us - all of us - plants, animals, people, water, land, sky. We have abused each other and our resources for so long, I sometimes feel as if the party is almost over. This post has nothing to do with Committed to Freedom. It has everything to do with my concerns to make life better and wondering how we can work together to do so.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Pope

2008-04-18T05:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it was six years coming, but I was extremely happy that Pope Benedict met with clergy sexual abuse survivors yesterday. For all that has happened, he has been very verbal during his US visit in acknowledging and addressing the issue that created thousands of victims. It is my prayer that this openness will also open the door for more healing to take place in ways that are beyond monetary settlements. Even with all the billions in settlements to victims, those men and women are still left with the deep spiritual, emotional, physical, and sexual scars. Once the money is in the bank, you still have to figure out what to do with the nightmares.

Committed to Freedom has been working with several Catholic diocese throughout the US to provide our spiritual tools to help survivors move beyond abuse. It is my prayer that the momentum of the Pope's visit to the US will reignite many others to reach out to victims. I pray that Committed to Freedom can be part of that healing process.
www.committedtofreedom.org

New Events in NYC

2008-04-17T10:54:00.000-07:00

Being a non-profit is difficult under good economic times. Being one now poses some unique challenges, to say the least! We know that people who have attended our retreats and seminars are very aware of how important the work of Committed to Freedom is. We're working on some new programs to give our friends an opportunity to be involved in both short-term and long-term ways, in large ways and smaller, more manageable ways.

I will be in NYC July 13th to teach a Beyond Abuse seminar. While I'm there, we're putting together an estate planning clinic so that people can include Committed to Freedom in their will. This clinic will be conducted by attorneys and other finacial professionals and give us an opportunity to have funds for the future.

Some other ideas that we're batting around include setting up a way to let people donate any air miles they have to help us with our substantial travel expenses, donate stock, and provide sponsorships for people who cannot afford to attend a retreat.

We're also putting together an alumni dinner in the NYC area so anyone who has attended a retreat and is in that area can get together, hear first hand what's happening at CTF, and get more involved through prayer, volunteer work, and resource investment.

It's exciting to see the wonderful men and women who have partnered with us to make sure we continue providing people with spiritual tools to help them move beyond abuse. We are certainly open to any innovative and do-able fund raising ideas!
www.committedtofreedom.org

publishing contract

2008-04-14T19:08:00.000-07:00

I received the contract draft from the publisher to publish my book, Connected Voices. This is a very exciting development for me and a long time coming. I'm reviewing the draft right now and hope we can finish this stage of the publishing process very soon.

This week we are working on several media project for our ministry's retreats. My staff will be heading to California this summer to receive extensive training to achieve these media goals. We're doing some serious brainstorming to find funding for much of what we do. I'm reviewing the re-working of several events that we put on. Once these changes are refined and finalized, we hope to expand Committed to Freedom and make our tools available to a wider audience.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Rain and Noise

2008-04-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

Our offices are in Hot Springs, Arkansas. Last week my husband and I celebrated our 35th anniversary and had a great evening in historic downtown Hot Springs. That is UNTIL the deluge began and 4 feet of water ended up flowing down our main street and flooding everything in its path. It was unbelievable and almost a week later, we're still getting hit with way too much water.

The good news is that our office, which is near downtown, did not flood nor did the roof leak in this very old building. The bad news is that the business that shares this very old building with us, decided to expand this week. They busted through the wall of another room in the building in order to do so, and then we were told this new expansion - which is connected to our office - is going to be a jamming room for drummers and guitarists - so our office is about to sound like a garage band rehearsal. Because the building is so old, nothing stops noise - not a cough, not a sneeze - so the noise is going to be unstoppable.

This can't work and we're attempting to "pressure" someone to soundproof this new development, otherwise we'll be forced to move. This year's schedule is very full and our work right now is very intense, so moving is going to create a horrible hardship on us. That, combined with the need to find an adequate office for what we can afford, is going to be quite a stretch for us on so many levels.

Anybody want to give us space for 3 offices, a workroom, and an adequate electrical supply? We like Austin, TX by the way. Yep - we're willing to relocate! Heck - if we have to move, we might as well MOVE!!

Rain, rain, go away - and take the garage band noise with you!!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Retreat in Texas

2008-04-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

We concluded our women's retreat in Texas. It was a sacred and powerful weekend. It is impossible to really explain why. The "ah-ha" moments, the truly thin places between heaven and earth, and the fellowship were all life changing. The testimonies cannot be told because they are private and we guard that ferociously. All I can say is that none of us left the way we came. The work of God was profound for both the staff and retreatants.

Easter

2008-03-23T05:59:00.000-07:00

On this Easter, Christ reminds us that today IS important. It counts. The future, the past are what they are. Today is what is. Live it as if it matters.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Mission Accomplished - Really!

2008-03-20T04:59:00.000-07:00

I saw light at the end of the tunnel yesterday and followed it. My new book, Connected Voices, needed additional chapters and discussion questions according to the publisher. Since this is a book that's been accepted by a publisher, I could not put these additions off, and yet my responsibilities have made this very difficult to do. I rounded that corner yesterday afternoon and knew I was so close that yesterday was THE day to finish. I declared to everyone that I was not going to bed until the book was finished. Last night, about 9 pm, the mission was accomplished. Of course, my chair and I have bonded, but that's the way writing goes. I will get this off to the publisher today and see what happens from there. And now . . . on to our retreat preparations for next week in Texas!
http://www.committedtofreedom.org/

Sigh

2008-03-11T04:10:00.000-07:00

Our staff has taken turns being sick. I'm not sure we've all been together in the office for about a month. Not good timing since we have a retreat coming up in a few weeks. We'll all be healthy one of these days, I hope! Sigh!

I have one week left in this quarter of grad school and then I'm off for two weeks! I got several papers turned in over the weekend and have one more to do this week and a few smaller assignments and I'll be done! Whew!

I'm just about finished revising the retreat workbooks and hope to have that finished in a few days. I'm also just about done with the final touches on the book I wrote, Connected Voices. The publisher wanted questions at the end of each chapter, so that's all that I have left to do. I got their preliminary contract offer, so this is definitely new territory for me! Sigh and Whew!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Cavity

2008-03-03T06:55:00.000-08:00

I've overcome the abuse I suffered as a child. I've overcome many of the things that have caused me anxiety and fear. I've taken adversity and turned it into something positive. BUT I am terrified of dentists and I have a huge cavity (because I haven't been to a dentist in years and years). Today is my zero hour - I go to the dentist. I am sweating bullets and my heart is palpitating, and the appointment is several hours away. Besides all that, there's supposed to be terrible storms, possibly tornados hitting just about the time I'm there. Hopefully, I'll survive today!!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Flu

2008-02-26T06:57:00.000-08:00

Our small staff of three people have all been hit by a wicked case of flu. I'm finally on the mend, as is one other staff person. Our office has pretty much been shut down for a week as a result. Hopefully we'll all be back up to speed in a few days and can respond to emails, phone calls, and retreat registrations for our March women's retreat in Texas.
http://www.committedtofreedom.org/

2008-02-20T10:56:00.000-08:00

I've been steadily working on re-tooling the retreats. Each year we learn more and I suppose that this will always be a work in progress! We had a board meeting today and all of us involved in CTF are looking forward to our plans and projects. Of vital concern is funding, as always. We are launching a new campaign on YouTube and GodTube sometime in the next week. This is a new adventure for us, but we think these free tools will really help people who come our way online. Like Podcasts, this will provide ongoing connection for people who need that point of contact with us. We have lots to learn and our learning curve is pretty steep right now. I recorded 8 of the video casts in a studio last week and they will go out every few weeks. It was way out of my comfort zone to be in front of a camera, but I feel good about what we produced. We'll see.
www.committedtofreedom.org

First Kiss

2008-02-12T04:28:00.000-08:00

36 years ago today, Tim (my husband) and I kissed for the very first time. We were in high school in the Philippines working on a school project - actually hanging giant yellow smiley faces from the basket ball goals for a school dance. You never know what a kiss under a giant smiley face can do! I guess you could say that kiss changed our lives forever. Two children, one grandchild, two ministries, and a lot of love and living later, this is our Valentine's day. Awwww!

So Happy Tim and Sallie Day everyone! Go stand under a giant smiley face and see what happens. It worked better than mistletoe 36 years ago in a land far, far away!
http://www.committedtofreedom.org/

Home from Florida

2008-01-28T08:12:00.000-08:00

Our quick trip to Florida is over and pretty uneventful (that's a good thing!). We had to get up at 3 am to catch our flight home! ugh! While my husband was in meetings all day, I had the opportunity to get some serious writing done for my book, Connected Voices. I wrote two additional chapters and am having people review them right now before I submit them to the publisher. I still have to write questions for each chapter, but that will come easier than these chapters. At the same time, good questions are critical for good introspection and group discussion, so I need to move carefully through this stage of developing the book.

We are now focusing on our March 28-30 women's retreat near Dallas/Ft. Worth. This retreat will be here before we know it and we have lots to do to adequately promote it and prepare for it.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Florida

2008-01-25T06:42:00.000-08:00

Well, my husband and I are in Florida for a few days. He has a board meeting and I came along as the "trophy wife" (if you know me, you know that's NOT the case!). Actually, we are not together that often, so this was a way to do that. While he's in meetings all day, I'm writing and working (God bless laptop computers and the Internet!). We're about 15 miles from any beach, so that writing is taking place in a hotel room and hopefully poolside later today. It's weird to be in shorts when I left REALLY cold weather in Arkansas yesterday (I know . . . if you live in Minnesota, we don't know what cold IS, but it was still cold!). We are here through Sunday, so I'll get lots done and we'll at least get to go to some good seafood restaurants while we're here!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Seminar

2008-01-10T04:33:00.000-08:00

The Responsible Care Training seminar went very well at All Saints Lutheran Church in Arlington, Texas this past weekend. About 55 clergy, church staff, and ministry leaders and volunteers attended the training. The church is beautiful and the people who organized this were very accommodating and organized.

The only glitch in the entire weekend was my travel. My husband says I have a "travel demon" and I sometimes wonder if he's not right! I live in Hot Springs, Arkansas and we have a small airport. Mesa Airlines flies from here (five minutes from my house) to DFW. It's a puddle jumper, but very convenient for me. If I flew from Little Rock, it's an hour drive, an hour wait, an hour flight, so this is a great alternative for me.

Anyway, Mesa is notoriously unreliable - so much so that I always arrive at the airport with a full tank of gas as a precaution. Well, once again, Mesa didn't fly due to mechanical problems and I had to drive to Dallas. It's about a 50/50 chance that this happens. Somebody needs to get their act together.

Other than that, the weekend was great, and I suppose I had lots of "me time" in the car for ten hours!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Dallas Seminar

2008-01-04T09:36:00.000-08:00

I leave in a few hours for Dallas to teach a Responsible Care Training seminar at All Saints Lutheran Church in Arlington, Texas. They have sixty people registered to attend. This is always encouraging to know that so many leaders want to become better prepared to help survivors of abuse.

My Christmas tree is down and my house is beginning to look normal again (although I miss the soft glow of those tiny white lights!). I just submitted my last paper and am done with my first quarter of grad school. I have a solid "A" in Research in Human Development. I'm patting myself on the back. I begin a new quarter, full time, beginning Monday. I look forward to new ideas, information, and challenges as I inch closer to my degree.

Happy New Year!
www.committedtofreedom.org

This is only a test

2007-12-19T13:49:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been having heart problems for awhile and before the year ran out I just finished being probed, tested, wired, and monitored. The good news is, I'm going to live. The bad news is that the bill will probably give me a heart attack! The heart condition I've had since I was a child is just aging along with me, so I need to watch what I eat, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and relax! Wow! Who knew!? I'm trying to do this and that, along with beta blockers, should patch things up in no time. In the meantime, I'm trying to finish up a research paper for grad school by the end of the week and wrap up a few loose ends before Christmas. Breathing deeply, resting securely in God's enveloping and gracious peace.
www.committedtofreedom.org