Ethereal Queen

2008-06-26T07:09:00.001-07:00

OK, this is not my usual thing, but this was sent to me this morning and I found it strengthening. I hope you do too. Peace, Sallie

I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, 'I love you and I wishyou enough'. The daughter replied, 'Mom , our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom'. They kissed and the daughter left.

The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'. Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, But why is this a forever good-bye?'. 'I amold and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said. '

When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?'. She began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone'. She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. 'When we said , 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them'. Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.

High School Reunion

2008-06-16T08:26:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't written here in a long time - been editing and writing until my hands ached and my chair and I had a custom fit! In the midst of our long, hot summer, my husband and I went to our high school reunion in San Antonio. We graduated from high school in the Philippines in 1972 and occasionally many different years get together in various places for a party. This was the first one I ever went to and had a completely wonderful time. I met old friends, made new ones, was glad I married my high school sweet heart. We took Amtrak - and other than running perpetually 3-5 hours late, really had a great time. This is the first vacation we've taken in years and it was amazing to see that human beings that emerged as the days passed and we had more to do or talk about than work, schedules, or stressors. The last time we saw most of these people at the reunion, we were 18. As the week unfolded, we talked about our life together and I knew, once more, that I made a very good choice in the man I am spending the rest of my life with. We're certainly not the same people we were in 1972 (thank God), but the foundation of the odd events that brought us, brought an entire generation to a place so far from home, shaped us, made us strong, tore us down, built us up, and prepared us for the amazing journey that we're on. Now, back to work!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Almost There!

2008-05-18T09:18:00.000-07:00

I hesistate to speak definitevly, but I think we're almost finished with our move. A few more boxes to get from point A to point B and then a cleaning of our old office, and we're out of that one. Of course, we still have all the boxes to unpack at our new office and find a home for all of our stuff (where did it all come from??), but at least we'll be working out of one location this week. Just in time for our 6th birthday on Friday! Yep, six years ago this coming Friday, Committed to Freedom incorporated and formed an independent 501(c)(3). What began in the early 1990's under the umbrella of Teen Challenge of Arkansas finally grew to become independent then. We've come a long way, but still have a long way to go. One trend I'd like to end is that this is our 5th office move in 6 years. Ugh.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Mother's Day 1998

2008-05-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

It was ten years ago this Mother's Day that I was in Sedona, Arizona, in the desert with my beautiful daughter. It was the end of a long, hellish experience of broken family and shattered dreams. Through many days of walking her trails, meeting those who were in the desert with her, and getting her Jeep ready to come home, we prepared to come home together and begin the difficult process of repairing our relationship, our home, our lives. Before we left Sedona, my daughter and I went to church together. It was Mother's Day. I have never had a more extravagant Mother's Day before or since. Today, I thank God for our restored relationship, our second chance.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Lightning and Moving

2008-05-08T04:19:00.001-07:00

Last night, just as we were moving our office furniture, a huge thunderstorm moved in - terrible lightning. Our new office is on the 2nd floor of a downtown historic building, and we thought we had the parking situation covered, but that plan fell through when our spot for the truck was taken. Everything was soaked - us, the great guys from Teen Challenge who helped us move, and our furniture. Nothing's easy I guess. Today, we move boxes of books, supplies, and work to get our office back in some kind of working order. This office is smaller than our last one, so we've got a challenge as to where we store much of our inventory and retreat equipment. One challenge at a time. Computers, our network, and our internet situation should be back up to speed by tomorrow evening.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Nashville and Moving

2008-05-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

I returned from Nashville after I taught a Beyond Abuse seminar for Midtown Fellowship. The seminar went great and I was so happy to see a room full of both men and women who were determined to learn important new tools for their own journeys or those of their friends or partners.

We started packing a bit yesterday in preparation for moving our offices this week. Today is the heavy packing and preparation day and tomorrow evening, a moving crew from Teen Challenge will swoop in and get our furniture up to our new office. We have been deeply moved by the sacrificial financial support we have received from great friends of our work. It is expensive to move - to get services and utilities changed over, etc. We are so encouraged by those who have join us in making this possible.

Well, I've got on my jeans and Tshirt on and will probably put in a very long day for the next few days. We'll all be glad when this is over!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Emergency Move

2008-05-02T04:37:00.001-07:00

Ugh. Due to circumstances beyond our control, we're having to move our offices next week. This puts a much greater burden on us financially, and we're already strained as it is. I leave for Nashville, TN in a few hours to teach a Beyond Abuse seminar for Midtown Fellowship. I get back late Sunday and then we move next week. All this in the middle of grad school, preparing for a retreat in June, working on a new retreat manual, and putting together information for the publisher of my new book, Connected Voices.

Oh! That's a really big development! I have a contract with NavPress to publish my book!! It's a deal and we hope this will be on bookshelves (or at least released) by March 2009. It's going to be a full year, to say the least.

The new office space will probably work much better for us, but right now, the idea of moving an entire office (AGAIN!!) just makes me tired! If you can help us with monthly support to offset these additional expenses, we could really use the help. Thanks!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Food

2008-04-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

I was at the grocery store this week. I live in America, which means that our stores are packed with enormous quantities of food in almost unlimited varieties. As I put a bag of pre-washed, pre-cut carrots in my cart, I wondered when it would be our turn to stare at empty shelves. I am concerned about us - all of us - plants, animals, people, water, land, sky. We have abused each other and our resources for so long, I sometimes feel as if the party is almost over. This post has nothing to do with Committed to Freedom. It has everything to do with my concerns to make life better and wondering how we can work together to do so.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Pope

2008-04-18T05:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it was six years coming, but I was extremely happy that Pope Benedict met with clergy sexual abuse survivors yesterday. For all that has happened, he has been very verbal during his US visit in acknowledging and addressing the issue that created thousands of victims. It is my prayer that this openness will also open the door for more healing to take place in ways that are beyond monetary settlements. Even with all the billions in settlements to victims, those men and women are still left with the deep spiritual, emotional, physical, and sexual scars. Once the money is in the bank, you still have to figure out what to do with the nightmares.

Committed to Freedom has been working with several Catholic diocese throughout the US to provide our spiritual tools to help survivors move beyond abuse. It is my prayer that the momentum of the Pope's visit to the US will reignite many others to reach out to victims. I pray that Committed to Freedom can be part of that healing process.
www.committedtofreedom.org

New Events in NYC

2008-04-17T10:54:00.000-07:00

Being a non-profit is difficult under good economic times. Being one now poses some unique challenges, to say the least! We know that people who have attended our retreats and seminars are very aware of how important the work of Committed to Freedom is. We're working on some new programs to give our friends an opportunity to be involved in both short-term and long-term ways, in large ways and smaller, more manageable ways.

I will be in NYC July 13th to teach a Beyond Abuse seminar. While I'm there, we're putting together an estate planning clinic so that people can include Committed to Freedom in their will. This clinic will be conducted by attorneys and other finacial professionals and give us an opportunity to have funds for the future.

Some other ideas that we're batting around include setting up a way to let people donate any air miles they have to help us with our substantial travel expenses, donate stock, and provide sponsorships for people who cannot afford to attend a retreat.

We're also putting together an alumni dinner in the NYC area so anyone who has attended a retreat and is in that area can get together, hear first hand what's happening at CTF, and get more involved through prayer, volunteer work, and resource investment.

It's exciting to see the wonderful men and women who have partnered with us to make sure we continue providing people with spiritual tools to help them move beyond abuse. We are certainly open to any innovative and do-able fund raising ideas!
www.committedtofreedom.org

publishing contract

2008-04-14T19:08:00.000-07:00

I received the contract draft from the publisher to publish my book, Connected Voices. This is a very exciting development for me and a long time coming. I'm reviewing the draft right now and hope we can finish this stage of the publishing process very soon.

This week we are working on several media project for our ministry's retreats. My staff will be heading to California this summer to receive extensive training to achieve these media goals. We're doing some serious brainstorming to find funding for much of what we do. I'm reviewing the re-working of several events that we put on. Once these changes are refined and finalized, we hope to expand Committed to Freedom and make our tools available to a wider audience.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Rain and Noise

2008-04-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

Our offices are in Hot Springs, Arkansas. Last week my husband and I celebrated our 35th anniversary and had a great evening in historic downtown Hot Springs. That is UNTIL the deluge began and 4 feet of water ended up flowing down our main street and flooding everything in its path. It was unbelievable and almost a week later, we're still getting hit with way too much water.

The good news is that our office, which is near downtown, did not flood nor did the roof leak in this very old building. The bad news is that the business that shares this very old building with us, decided to expand this week. They busted through the wall of another room in the building in order to do so, and then we were told this new expansion - which is connected to our office - is going to be a jamming room for drummers and guitarists - so our office is about to sound like a garage band rehearsal. Because the building is so old, nothing stops noise - not a cough, not a sneeze - so the noise is going to be unstoppable.

This can't work and we're attempting to "pressure" someone to soundproof this new development, otherwise we'll be forced to move. This year's schedule is very full and our work right now is very intense, so moving is going to create a horrible hardship on us. That, combined with the need to find an adequate office for what we can afford, is going to be quite a stretch for us on so many levels.

Anybody want to give us space for 3 offices, a workroom, and an adequate electrical supply? We like Austin, TX by the way. Yep - we're willing to relocate! Heck - if we have to move, we might as well MOVE!!

Rain, rain, go away - and take the garage band noise with you!!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Retreat in Texas

2008-04-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

We concluded our women's retreat in Texas. It was a sacred and powerful weekend. It is impossible to really explain why. The "ah-ha" moments, the truly thin places between heaven and earth, and the fellowship were all life changing. The testimonies cannot be told because they are private and we guard that ferociously. All I can say is that none of us left the way we came. The work of God was profound for both the staff and retreatants.

Easter

2008-03-23T05:59:00.000-07:00

On this Easter, Christ reminds us that today IS important. It counts. The future, the past are what they are. Today is what is. Live it as if it matters.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Mission Accomplished - Really!

2008-03-20T04:59:00.000-07:00

I saw light at the end of the tunnel yesterday and followed it. My new book, Connected Voices, needed additional chapters and discussion questions according to the publisher. Since this is a book that's been accepted by a publisher, I could not put these additions off, and yet my responsibilities have made this very difficult to do. I rounded that corner yesterday afternoon and knew I was so close that yesterday was THE day to finish. I declared to everyone that I was not going to bed until the book was finished. Last night, about 9 pm, the mission was accomplished. Of course, my chair and I have bonded, but that's the way writing goes. I will get this off to the publisher today and see what happens from there. And now . . . on to our retreat preparations for next week in Texas!
http://www.committedtofreedom.org/

Sigh

2008-03-11T04:10:00.000-07:00

Our staff has taken turns being sick. I'm not sure we've all been together in the office for about a month. Not good timing since we have a retreat coming up in a few weeks. We'll all be healthy one of these days, I hope! Sigh!

I have one week left in this quarter of grad school and then I'm off for two weeks! I got several papers turned in over the weekend and have one more to do this week and a few smaller assignments and I'll be done! Whew!

I'm just about finished revising the retreat workbooks and hope to have that finished in a few days. I'm also just about done with the final touches on the book I wrote, Connected Voices. The publisher wanted questions at the end of each chapter, so that's all that I have left to do. I got their preliminary contract offer, so this is definitely new territory for me! Sigh and Whew!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Cavity

2008-03-03T06:55:00.000-08:00

I've overcome the abuse I suffered as a child. I've overcome many of the things that have caused me anxiety and fear. I've taken adversity and turned it into something positive. BUT I am terrified of dentists and I have a huge cavity (because I haven't been to a dentist in years and years). Today is my zero hour - I go to the dentist. I am sweating bullets and my heart is palpitating, and the appointment is several hours away. Besides all that, there's supposed to be terrible storms, possibly tornados hitting just about the time I'm there. Hopefully, I'll survive today!!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Flu

2008-02-26T06:57:00.000-08:00

Our small staff of three people have all been hit by a wicked case of flu. I'm finally on the mend, as is one other staff person. Our office has pretty much been shut down for a week as a result. Hopefully we'll all be back up to speed in a few days and can respond to emails, phone calls, and retreat registrations for our March women's retreat in Texas.
http://www.committedtofreedom.org/

2008-02-20T10:56:00.000-08:00

I've been steadily working on re-tooling the retreats. Each year we learn more and I suppose that this will always be a work in progress! We had a board meeting today and all of us involved in CTF are looking forward to our plans and projects. Of vital concern is funding, as always. We are launching a new campaign on YouTube and GodTube sometime in the next week. This is a new adventure for us, but we think these free tools will really help people who come our way online. Like Podcasts, this will provide ongoing connection for people who need that point of contact with us. We have lots to learn and our learning curve is pretty steep right now. I recorded 8 of the video casts in a studio last week and they will go out every few weeks. It was way out of my comfort zone to be in front of a camera, but I feel good about what we produced. We'll see.
www.committedtofreedom.org

First Kiss

2008-02-12T04:28:00.000-08:00

36 years ago today, Tim (my husband) and I kissed for the very first time. We were in high school in the Philippines working on a school project - actually hanging giant yellow smiley faces from the basket ball goals for a school dance. You never know what a kiss under a giant smiley face can do! I guess you could say that kiss changed our lives forever. Two children, one grandchild, two ministries, and a lot of love and living later, this is our Valentine's day. Awwww!

So Happy Tim and Sallie Day everyone! Go stand under a giant smiley face and see what happens. It worked better than mistletoe 36 years ago in a land far, far away!
http://www.committedtofreedom.org/

Home from Florida

2008-01-28T08:12:00.000-08:00

Our quick trip to Florida is over and pretty uneventful (that's a good thing!). We had to get up at 3 am to catch our flight home! ugh! While my husband was in meetings all day, I had the opportunity to get some serious writing done for my book, Connected Voices. I wrote two additional chapters and am having people review them right now before I submit them to the publisher. I still have to write questions for each chapter, but that will come easier than these chapters. At the same time, good questions are critical for good introspection and group discussion, so I need to move carefully through this stage of developing the book.

We are now focusing on our March 28-30 women's retreat near Dallas/Ft. Worth. This retreat will be here before we know it and we have lots to do to adequately promote it and prepare for it.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Florida

2008-01-25T06:42:00.000-08:00

Well, my husband and I are in Florida for a few days. He has a board meeting and I came along as the "trophy wife" (if you know me, you know that's NOT the case!). Actually, we are not together that often, so this was a way to do that. While he's in meetings all day, I'm writing and working (God bless laptop computers and the Internet!). We're about 15 miles from any beach, so that writing is taking place in a hotel room and hopefully poolside later today. It's weird to be in shorts when I left REALLY cold weather in Arkansas yesterday (I know . . . if you live in Minnesota, we don't know what cold IS, but it was still cold!). We are here through Sunday, so I'll get lots done and we'll at least get to go to some good seafood restaurants while we're here!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Seminar

2008-01-10T04:33:00.000-08:00

The Responsible Care Training seminar went very well at All Saints Lutheran Church in Arlington, Texas this past weekend. About 55 clergy, church staff, and ministry leaders and volunteers attended the training. The church is beautiful and the people who organized this were very accommodating and organized.

The only glitch in the entire weekend was my travel. My husband says I have a "travel demon" and I sometimes wonder if he's not right! I live in Hot Springs, Arkansas and we have a small airport. Mesa Airlines flies from here (five minutes from my house) to DFW. It's a puddle jumper, but very convenient for me. If I flew from Little Rock, it's an hour drive, an hour wait, an hour flight, so this is a great alternative for me.

Anyway, Mesa is notoriously unreliable - so much so that I always arrive at the airport with a full tank of gas as a precaution. Well, once again, Mesa didn't fly due to mechanical problems and I had to drive to Dallas. It's about a 50/50 chance that this happens. Somebody needs to get their act together.

Other than that, the weekend was great, and I suppose I had lots of "me time" in the car for ten hours!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Dallas Seminar

2008-01-04T09:36:00.000-08:00

I leave in a few hours for Dallas to teach a Responsible Care Training seminar at All Saints Lutheran Church in Arlington, Texas. They have sixty people registered to attend. This is always encouraging to know that so many leaders want to become better prepared to help survivors of abuse.

My Christmas tree is down and my house is beginning to look normal again (although I miss the soft glow of those tiny white lights!). I just submitted my last paper and am done with my first quarter of grad school. I have a solid "A" in Research in Human Development. I'm patting myself on the back. I begin a new quarter, full time, beginning Monday. I look forward to new ideas, information, and challenges as I inch closer to my degree.

Happy New Year!
www.committedtofreedom.org

This is only a test

2007-12-19T13:49:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been having heart problems for awhile and before the year ran out I just finished being probed, tested, wired, and monitored. The good news is, I'm going to live. The bad news is that the bill will probably give me a heart attack! The heart condition I've had since I was a child is just aging along with me, so I need to watch what I eat, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and relax! Wow! Who knew!? I'm trying to do this and that, along with beta blockers, should patch things up in no time. In the meantime, I'm trying to finish up a research paper for grad school by the end of the week and wrap up a few loose ends before Christmas. Breathing deeply, resting securely in God's enveloping and gracious peace.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Reorganizing

2007-12-16T08:08:00.000-08:00

This week is dedicated to cleaning and reorganizing, both at our office and at home. I have paced myself in a healthy way. I had done well with my class on Human Development, met the deadlines, and finally caught up from my time away due to a death in the family. In a few days family arrive for Christmas and my husband and I will host an open house on Christmas Eve for the residents, their families, and staff of Teen Challenge of Arkansas. It is an enormous amount of work, but one that my family has enjoyed for over 25 years. We'll serve about 150 people in small groups for about 8 hours. It's like a giant grazing food day for us. I will leave in a few hours to attend the wedding of a young man who is like my son.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Writing Maniac

2007-12-12T05:07:00.000-08:00

I got some very good news that the book I wrote earlier this year, Connected Voices, has been picked up by a publisher! They want me to add a few more chapters and write questions at the end of each chapter for personal application, so I've got lots of writing to do! I'm also wrapping up my first quarter in grad school, and of course I've got lots of writing to do!

We're working on our 2008 calendar for seminars and retreats and I hope to have everything nailed down at loaded on our web site in the next few days. I've taken a bit of a sabbatical from podcasting due to schedule and technical problems. Hopefully, I'll get back into the recording room at the first of the year.

Soooo, as you can tell, I'll be a writing maniac for a long time. When I resurface after all of this, there will probably be a permanent dent in my body in the shape of a chair and my wrists will never be the same!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Catch Up

2007-12-06T05:46:00.000-08:00

We've been playing catch up and it's been slow going. After returning from my sister in law's funeral and trying to emotionally regroup, we still have to wrap up all the loose ends from our NYC retreat trip. In addition, I had a research project due last week for grad school, and the professor kindly gave me a few days extension. Whew! I got that turned in yesterday, but now I'm still working a bit from behind for this week's work. I love it though.

We had our first follow up online group for the women who attended the NYC retreat on Tuesday. There were a few technical problems and our facilitator couldn't log on. Ah! Our machines fail us at the most inopportune times! Our men's online group begins tonight.

Thrown into all of this is a major home improvement project that's kept my house looking like a tornado hit it. (Not that it's that unusual, but furniture was in the kitchen and bathroom, so nuking dinner was a bit challenging, as was taking a shower!).
www.committedtofreedom.org

Loss

2007-11-26T06:24:00.000-08:00

Marilyn, my sister in law died of cancer last night. I lost another sister in law last year to cancer. Please keep her husband (my husband's oldest brother), their children, and family in your prayers.

Bratwurst Thanksgiving

2007-11-24T06:32:00.000-08:00

I'd rather go to the dentist than cook, let alone cook a meal that involves lots of dishes, table clothes, high maintenance silverware, crystal, and too much stress! My entire family agrees so this Thanksgiving, we cooked bratwurst on the grill, and potato salad (store bought of course) all served on paper plates. My son was home from college, the rest of my family was here after several high energy, stressful weeks of work in NYC and at home, and we all decided that we just wanted a relaxed meal together with NO PRESSURE! It was probably one of the best Thanksgiving dinner's we've ever had. Everyone was happy, satisfied, and grateful. Friday, we DID NOT SHOP, which made the entire holiday a beautiful experience. Oh, one more thing . . . the University of Arkansas Razorback football team BEAT top ranked LSU! Go Hogs.
www.committedtofreedom.org

NYC Men's Retreat and Travel Home

2007-11-21T01:17:00.000-08:00

Our men's retreat was historic. Up until this past weekend, all of our men's retreats have been held at a residential Teen Challenge program. This was our first men's retreat that was purely Committed to Freedom's. Just like our women's retreat the weekend before, it was holy, sacred, beautiful, and powerful. The setting of our retreat, a tranquil place on the Hudson river, facilitated God's ability to help these courageous men to take the next step to move beyond their abuse. My staff, Anne, Dave, and Derek, gently, and confidently walked through this journey with our participants with great love and respect.

These two final retreats of 2008 in NYC were deeply gratifying, but we were all very exhausted by the time we finally travelled home. I struggled with a flare up of my autoimmune system and my eyes pretty much remained swollen, red, and almost non-functioning throughout the trip. The airports were very crowded and flight delays made the journey home very tiring, but we made it back.

I am so humbled, grateful, and confident that Committed to Freedom is doing exactly what we are to do. This has been a rough and tumble year, especially the past few months. The roller coaster has not been much of a fun ride, but we see light flickering in the dark tunnel of inadequate finances and stretched resources. We wait, expectantly.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Between Retreats

2007-11-13T06:46:00.001-08:00

Our women's retreat was a time of deep healing, profound peace, and hope. After every retreat, I marvel at all that has happened. Despair and "no options left" turns into "I can do this!" It was hard to say good-bye to our new friends on Sunday afternoon. It was also a beautiful thing to know these women left empowered and with the right tools to move beyond their abuse.

We are now in between retreats and resting. Retreats always leave our team exhausted, but it is a good kind of fatigue, knowing we've been part of something truly beautiful. We're taking the next few days off. Yesterday, we went to the Bronx Zoo. I don't normally like zoos because I hate to see anything in captivity, but this was a wonderful zoo. I had the sense that the animals were watching us in cages, and after thinking about it, I'm not sure that is too far off. People seem to be more captive than many animals by our choices, life circumstances, and attitudes.

We will begin to prepare for our men's retreat on Thursday. My team arrives tomorrow night. My women's team left this morning. It has been an intense time, but we are so grateful to be part of this path!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Women's Retreat Begins Today

2007-11-09T04:04:00.000-08:00

Our team arrived yesterday and had a time of reconneciton and training. It is amazing how we can be apart for a year and pick up where we left off 12 months earlier like we just took a break. I love these women and their compassion, joy, and courage!

This morning we will finish setting up and our participants arrive at noon to begin a beautiful journey away from abuse. The weather is great, a chill is in the air, and the view of the Hudson river is inspiring. We expect great healing to take place this weekend.
www.committedtofreedom.org

NYC Bound!

2007-11-07T05:03:00.001-08:00

We fly out in a few hours to begin the journey of our last two retreats of 2007. The challenges have already begun as I woke this morning and my auto-immune system decided to rebel. My eyes are almost swollen closed and my joints are just about immobile. This seems as much seasonal as anything and I've been battling this for about 4 years now. Ugh.

A new addition to my life is grad school and I have some pretty big assignments due while we're in NYC. I just got broadband for my computer and hope I have some degree of technical proficiency to know how to get my assignments emailed!

We anticipate much healing to take place over the next few weeks at these retreats. The adventure, for us, begins today.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Work in Texas

2007-10-31T04:35:00.000-07:00

This past weekend in Texas was full and wonderful. My friend and board member, Sandy, worked very hard to bring our two seminars to Martin United Methodist Church in Bedford. I presented the Responsible Care Training seminar on Friday and the Beyond Abuse seminar on Saturday. There were a lot of therapists who came to both seminars. It was great to have our brand new DVD of the Beyond Abuse seminar available!

On Sunday, I spoke in two morning services at Martin UMC. The pastor, Bayard Pratt, is a wonderful man with great intelligence and insight. I truly loved the people of this congregation and their willingness to open their church to my seminars and my message. Sunday afternoon, Sandy and I drove to Denton and had a very significant meeting with a staff member of Denton Bible Church - a mega church pastored by Tommy Nelson (of whom I am a fan). We discussed what CTF offers and how we might partner to bring our healing tools to their programs and outreaches.

On Monday, I had a great meeting with Deacon Charlie of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Dallas that pretty much went like the meeting I had at Denton Bible Church. They are looking at our seminars and support group programs using The Uncaged Project as a tool of outreach for those in their diocese who need our help.

I flew on Mesa Airlines, both ways! Sometimes flights have been cancelled at the last minute and I've needed to get in my car and "fly" to Dallas, but that didn't happen during this trip. Whew! Mesa is REAL flying - a tiny plane, cozy and intimate conversations with the pilots (no flight attendants), and everyone on the plane (all 10 of us) chat like we've been friends for years. The best part is that it flies in and out of Hot Springs, AR and the airport is only 5 minutes from my house! The flight returning home was almost an hour late and I was really exhausted, so a 5 minute drive after that was really, really nice!

When I got home, my husband had a beautiful beef stew and artisan bread waiting on me! Do I have a great husband! One more thing - I started grad school this week, so life is about to get really full!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Texas and DVD Production

2007-10-24T06:07:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to say that the DVD production of our Beyond Abuse seminar is completed. I pick up the finished 3 DVD set today! The set will come with a workbook that follows the 4 hour seminar. This means that people can go through the materials at their own pace. We will make them available for the very first time at the seminars I will do at Martin United Methodist Church in Bedford, Texas. This is a huge step forward for us. Not only are the DVD's ready, but we received a call yesterday from someone who wanted to cover the production costs. It's nice to have something good to report! The past few months have been very difficult - emotionally, spiritually, and financially. I feel like I've been given a moment to come up for air, and for that I'm truly grateful.

I leave tomorrow and fly out of the tiny Hot Springs, Arkansas airport for DFW on one of those planes where you really "feel" like you're flying. These are tiny plans that are like riding on a bumpy road in Honduras in a Jeep. You know ever pothole in the sky before you land. White knuckles are a pretty common sight among the passengers. The good news is that the airport is about 5 minutes from my house.

In Bedford, I will teach the Responsible Care Training seminar on Friday and the Beyond Abuse seminar on Saturday. I will speak in both Sunday services at Marting UMC. Monday, I hope to meet with several officials of the Dallas Catholic Diocese about the programs and services that Committed to Freedom offers.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Window

2007-10-16T06:57:00.000-07:00

Did you ever wonder what my picture here is about? Well (it's been many years now), I went back and found the house where I was sexually abused by my grandfather when I was a child. It had been hit by a tornado and I was able to walk through it. This is a picture of me looking out of the bedroom window where I was abused. It's important for me to reflect on this at times. I'm not in that room anymore. I left it behind many years before I walked through that house. I left its hold on me, left the destruction, left the horrible legacy of my grandfather's abuse. I look at this photo and know that even as I stood there, looking out from that place, I was the one who owned my life now.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Seminar DVD Production

2007-10-13T07:59:00.000-07:00

We finished the first of 7 segments of editing for the DVD production of our Beyond Abuse seminar. It looks great and I am so happy with how this project looks and feels. It's going to cost us about $2,500 to pay for this project, so anyone out there who would like to sponsor this, let me know!! We have struggled with some computer issues, but the production company thinks they've got things figured out and we should be able to streamline the process a bit next week. Like I said, we hope to have this done by the end of October.
www.committedtofreedom.org

DVD

2007-10-11T04:43:00.000-07:00

I'm spending the day with our film production group to edit the Beyond Abuse Seminar that we filmed on Saturday. We'll be inserting graphics and text and preparing it for final production. At some future point, we want to refine this, but for right now, this accomplishes a lot. Our goal is to have the final production ready for the seminars I'm doing at Martin United Methodist Church in Bedford, Texas. The director also felt that we could produce an audio CD of the seminar too. Projects like this one allow us to be in more than one place at one time.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Television Interview

2007-10-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

I was interviewed yesterday on Arkansas state television about our upcoming Beyond Abuse seminar at the Austin Hotel Conference Center, Saturday, October 6, 9-4. The link to see the interview is: http://arkansasmatters.com/media_player.php?media_id=16197
Today, we're preparing for this seminar, which will be professionally filmed to sell on DVD and hopefully as a pay-per-view from our website. This is a big step forward for us.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Arlington, TX

2007-10-02T06:09:00.000-07:00

I just returned from Arlington, Texas on Sunday after teaching two seminars for Crossroads Church. I taught our Responsible Care seminar for clergy and helping professionals, and I also taught our Beyond Abuse seminar for those impacted by abuse. I went there after one of our retreat alumni encouraged the pastor to do so. Pastor Joe was very enthusiastic about the seminars once he attended. Sexual abuse is such a difficult topic and people are often wary of what exactly they will participate in. This is definitely not a ministry that draws huge crowds. Every event we put on is a gamble. We've had to learn not to gauge our "success" by numbers, but by what is accomplished.

While in Texas, one of our local team members and board members, Sandy, took me to Ft. Worth for dinner. She did her best to get me on a mechanical bull, but I am a wise woman. I left horses alone too!

My staff is busy preparing for our Beyond Abuse seminar that will be in Hot Springs, Arkansas this weekend. I'm going to be on statewide television Thursday morning to talk about Committed to Freedom and to promote the seminar. It's always an uphill battle to convince people that this is worth the risk of spending a day. In reality, it's a day that can change their lives.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Evacuation

2007-09-27T04:43:00.000-07:00

Things get strange at times. This week, we had a lot to do to get me ready to leave for Texas. I am teaching two seminars this weekend at Crossroads Church in Arlington. So there we are, me and my two staff members, and we start feeling woozy and smelled a horrid smell. It was coming from our air conditioning vents! We have a new neighbor in our office and he's trying to remodel so his business can open soon. He was applying an epoxy coating to his floor and the fumes were going directly into our air intake and depositing them with force from our air conditioning! It was so bad that we had to evacuate - no matter how much work we had to do! I have fibromyalgia and began to experience horrific muscle spasms that continued for almost 24 hours. Many ice packs and hot compresses later, the spasms let up.

Today, I feel better. Just in time to celebrate my daughter's birthday (Happy Birthday Anne!) and then get on a plane for DFW. Hopefully, the one hour flight will be just one hour! I'm looking forward to a great weekend with the people of Crossroads Church. I pray that eyes will be opened and hope will be experienced.
www.committedtofreedom.org

2007-09-23T03:38:00.000-07:00

I got a new computer yesterday, which is great since the one I'm using right now is about as unreliable as a computer can be (avoid Toshiba's). The task of transferring files, programs, getting it set up, learning the really amazing features that the new computer has - all of these are necessary but daunting tasks. I'm in the middle of several big writing projects, so I'll probably be split between computers for the next few weeks. I managed to finish the translation version of The Uncaged Project and we will hopefully begin putting that into Spanish pretty soon. This is the next step in our Ecuador strategy, and hopefully we can duplicate that in many other parts of the world.
www.committedtofreedom.org

The hardest day for change

2007-09-20T05:59:00.000-07:00

The easiest day to make a radical change is today. The hardest day will be day after tomorrow.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Early to Rise

2007-09-18T04:19:00.000-07:00

I woke up early this morning. I got to bed late last night. Yep, I LOVE sleep deprivation! Today will be full as we make some vital decisions about our organization's future with our board. I am confident that we've only just begun to do what we're called to do. I have peace - not much strength - but peace. The three of us in our office have spent the past week reviewing ourselves, our focus, and our passion. Each of us is keenly aware of our mission, our calling, our vision. We all know that what we see with our eyes and hear with our ears is only part of the picture. God will give us the vision and hearing to know our way forward - when it's time. When we're ready.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Preparing for the future

2007-09-14T05:09:00.000-07:00

Our board meeting is next week and I've been preparing budgets, plans, and reports as we look to the future for Committed to Freedom. I also met with a studio yesterday to explore the possibility of putting our seminars and other resources on DVD. This would give many groups and individuals the possibility of having greater access to our teachings and resources and keep us focused on the continuing process of research and development. We're at such a fragile place financially, but we also know that we are doing exactly what we are to do. This is in God's hands and is God's timing, not ours. We're doing everything we can with energy, integrity, and passion. That's what is required of us. That is what we are happy to do.
www.committedtofreedom.org

NYC

2007-09-09T17:18:00.000-07:00

I just returned from a few days of much needed rest with my husband in New York City. We ate, slept in, ate, walked and walked, ate, and went to see Blue Man Group - an incredibly creative, highly entertaining show. If you're ever in NYC, be sure to see it if you can. While in NYC, we spent quite a bit of time walking and talking in Central Park. I love the diversity, energy, and opportunities that exist in large cities like NYC. I have to say that my T-Shirt that says "I Love NY" is completely true. Our mini-vacation gave us both a chance to regroup and refocus. I'm looking forward to rolling up my sleeves and getting back to work.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Balance

2007-09-03T08:54:00.001-07:00

When life is chaotic and tragic, I hope to / sometimes do just sit with it until I recalibrate and find my way. Both the ministry and me have been in a difficult season, lately. Difficult isn't good or bad, it just is. Life is always ebb and flow and so are the responses to that cycle. I respond in two ways, proactive (problem solving control freak) and reflective (sit down, calm down, listen). These two responses seem to feed off of each other and in the end, balance emerges.

I'm not sure this roller coaster ride is very thrilling for me. I feel much better when I reach the end of the ride and am safely exiting the coaster car! There's just not too much control any of us have over the ride. Personally, I close my eyes, have a knuckle white grip on the seat, and have my seat belt on pretty darn tight. I've noticed others who throw their hands up in the air, eyes wide open, joyfully squealing with all their might, and want to do it again and again. I'm working on keeping at least one eye open as the drop begins. That's progress, right?
www.committedtofreedom.org

Prayer

2007-08-29T04:03:00.000-07:00

Pray for me, please.

Children's Church

2007-08-27T05:05:00.000-07:00

They needed help in Children's Church yesterday, so I volunteered. I think it's been about 15 years since I've done something like that. Let's just say it is not my "gift!" My talents evidently are elsewhere. I can maintain crowd control, but that's about it. I guess every event needs a bouncer, eh?
www.committedtofreedom.org

Money

2007-08-26T06:27:00.000-07:00

I'm so frustrated about the finances of Committed to Freedom. Everyone who experiences our retreats, seminars, and what we do online feels transformed, inspired, and recognizes the value of what we do. And yet . . . we keep hemorrhaging. We're so low in funds right now, I'm not sure that we'll have many options left in another month of two but to shut this down. I go to the Post Office everyday looking for that $million check. So far, it hasn't arrived. I really don't have time to do any REAL fund raising and evidently, I really don't know what works and what doesn't work. It's just shocking to me that people who feel so transformed don't or can't invest something into the ministry. I don't feel in a panic. I just wonder what's going to happen. We're backed into a corner and the paint doesn't seem to be drying on the floor.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Reflections on Stress

2007-08-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

I just finished a brief visit with my son. He is a university senior taking 19 hours this semester and working full time in a very intense job. He is also in the Guard so he has weekend drills every few weeks. We had very little time together, as I anticipated, because this is the first week of classes. I reflected back on my college days - working full time, going to school full time. It was incredibly stressful, lonely, and overwhelming at times. I'm not sure if this is a preparation for life, or just a set up to keep us living at this kind of full throttle pace that eventually consumes us. I believe in hard work, having goals, being focused, but I just wonder from time to time if this is really what God built us for. My energy was spent long ago. I'm looking for peace and serenity now, which I value as much as I do hard work. These are just my reflections on stress.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Lego's

2007-08-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

I am reflecting on something I saw my grandson do recently. He is three and has a set of Lego's building blocks - the kind that interlock. He was building a tower and it kept falling over. He would rebuild it, it would fall over. Finally, he said in frustration to the Lego's, "Stop falling! I made you!" I could almost here God saying, "I know just how your feel!"
www.committedtofreedom.org

Brilliant!!

2007-08-10T08:11:00.000-07:00

My days feel very "uneventful" right now. I'm sitting in a church basement, re-working The Uncaged Project for translation into Spanish (and hopefully other languages eventually!). This is vitally important, but it dulls me a bit. "How was your day?" is a question hardly worth asking me. The response would sound something like, "I had a real breakthrough today!! I figured out how to communicate the metaphor 'double-edged sword' to a broader understanding! Wow! That was tense!!" I know, I know! It's really exciting to hear, eh?

In all seriousness, I know this is important, but my hands hurt like crazy, my elbows ache, and I am really sick of sitting for hours and hours to re-write something I've written! Such are the burdens I bear. Not much of a martyr and not too inspired right now!

By the way, my solution to "double-edged sword?" A sword that is sharp on both sides of the blade! As the Guinness guys say: "Brilliant!"
www.committedtofreedom.org

Writing Space

2007-08-03T08:19:00.000-07:00

I am working hard to get The Uncaged Project ready to be translated into Spanish. This is a tough project because I'm compressing it a bit and taking a lot of "American-eze" out of it so that it connects in a more universal way. I've been able to get a lot done because of the solitary work place I've been given to write at a local Methodist church. It's a tremendous gift to me - no phones, email, or interruptions! A writer's dream come true. Every once in a while, I come up for air and have stimulating conversations with the Pastor. She has become a good friend who challenges me intellectually and spiritually. Once my heart and brain fill up, I can go back to write and find there's something to draw from!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Husband's Birthday

2007-08-01T05:10:00.000-07:00

Today, my husband Tim is 54 years old! How is he celebrating? He's riding his bicycle 55 miles. Every year, he rides his bike one more mile than his age. And yes, it's going to be 95 degrees today. I guess when he's 99, he should do this in Canada rather than Arkansas! Happy Birthday Tim!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Space

2007-07-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

I have been given a tremendous gift - the space to write in solitude that is not in my home. One of my boundary rules is that I will not write about abuse in my own home. I do this for my own mental and spiritual health, but our office is very crowded and none of us have much thinking space. Because of this, I've been writing at home for almost a year. Today, I'm going to my new writing space that is at a Methodist Church in Hot Springs. I have been given access to the pastor's library - which is removed from the offices and other activities of the church - to come and go as I need to without a phone or interruptions. This comes at the perfect time because, upon returning from Ecuador, I have a great many front burner projects that will require my undivided attention. In addition, I have several more books in me that I need to get written, as well as many new translation projects. This writing space is a great blessing for me, for the ministry, and for those we hope to reach.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Report from Ecuador

2007-07-27T17:36:00.000-07:00

I returned from Ecuador last night. Here is my report:

Ecuador Journal
July 22-26, 2007
Quito, Ecuador

Monday, July 23, 2007

I arrived in Quito at midnight Sunday night and settle in for a brief night of sleep. After breakfast this morning, I went with Bob and Diane Peterson – volunteers from Hope Presbyterian Church in Memphis who have really taken Ecuador into their hearts – to an amazing school in Carmen Bajo. My translator was a lovely woman named Sandra and her 14 year old son, Gonzalo accompanied us. His English is amazing and he’s a beautiful, bright Christian young man. The administrators of this school, Pancho and Pity, are two amazing people. Their school is in the midst of remarkable poverty – raw sewage cascading down the majestic mountains, shacks as far as the eye can see, stray dogs and people everywhere. In this setting, they have managed to build an oasis for children where they eat 3 meals a day, attend classes, computer classes, English classes from babies through 6th grade. I met with a group of their teachers and “Community Mothers” to discuss the issues of sexual abuse and their stories were sadly familiar. Then I asked them what solutions they saw were possible through this school. These insightful men and women know what needs to be done – parenting classes, sex education classes for the children, partnerships between parents and teachers, and support groups for both victims and offenders. I know that Committed to Freedom and Hope Church can assist them to meet these goals.

From Carmen Bajo, we went to Pifo Church, pastored by Ramiro Baez to teach the first night of my seminar to a group of pastors. When we first planned this trip, we guessed that about 10 people would be there. We were surprised to have over 60 people show up from all around the area, pastors and lay leaders, eager to understand the issues of childhood sexual abuse. This one day seminar (when taught in English) will be stretched over three evenings since most of these people work during the day. The church is a very nice structure and they have a school, recreational courtyard where children can play, and a sanctuary for the congregation of about 400.

Danielle, a major reason why I was contacted to come to Ecuador, was at the seminar. I have communicated with her several times by phone and email prior to coming, and it was a great pleasure to finally meet her in person. She is a woman of great vision and heart for the people of Ecuador, and is especially concerned about how to help people who have been sexually abused.

On our way home from Pifo, there was a boy, about age 9, holding a tiny infant who was probably no more than a few months old. He was running in and out of traffic, holding the baby up to the windows of cars, begging. This is not an unfamiliar scene.

Ecuador seems to be a country of great contrast – from the very little I’ve seen. Quito is a progressive city with good roads, beautiful buildings, and a LOT of traffic. The Andes mountains that surround it are breathtaking and the weather is wonderful – mild and varied – sitting right here on the equator at 9000 feet! I’d like to come here just to explore! In the midst of such progressiveness, there are raw sewage waterfalls and disturbing poverty.

At the end of the day, Bob, Diane, and Tucker Strickland – the man overseeing the work of Hope Church in Latin America – to summarize what took place today and determine what needs to be the next step in bringing the tools of Committed to Freedom to these new friends.

Tuesday, July 23, 2007

We learned early this morning that Pastor Holguer Molineros was in a terrible accident after the seminar last night. His leg shattered and his wife injured. Danielle’s husband was right behind him when it happened with a doctor he had just picked up from the airport. They were terrified of bandits who roam the highways and are extremely violent and dangerous.

We traveled to Yaruqui today to see another school and church pastored and run by Pastor Holguer (pronounced olehair). Of course he was not there and his school is on summer break, but some people from Hope were there to conduct Vacation Bible School, so there were lots of children. It is not nearly as well kept as Carmen Bajo, nor was it very well supervised, but they are still doing an incredible work in their community that doesn’t seem to be as desperately poor. They work with Compassion International to have a substantial feeding program.

After seeing this school, we went to LaHacienda, an old Spanish plantation that Danielle is converting into a school to serve over 1000 children. The kids from Hope Church are doing the renovations and working very hard with an incredible attitude. Diane, Danielle and I went to lunch at Sally Melenke’s house. Sally as been a missionary in Ecuador (from the US) for over 23 years. Had a good conversation and got better acquainted over a great meal. Sally had been without water for several days. She heads back to PA at the end of the week. We left and prepared for the seminar. Tonight, we had 73 there and it was a great evening of teaching and sharing – even if my computer crashed mid-presentation.

Wednesday, July 24, 2007

I met with Tucker and Emil Borja this morning to discuss the strategies for what was next in the area of sexual abuse issues. We determined a course of action that included coming back in a few months to have a seminar with all the congregations of the Pifo’s Pastor Network, identify potential leaders, and develop support groups using The Uncaged Project. We will translate this into Spanish and have these groups in place as follow up for the next seminar. These are exciting plans and there is much to do to implement them. Emil will begin work to translate our website into Spanish as well. Funding is a big issue, but I am certain that God will provide the resources to get this done.

We met with Danielle and Mauricio Cevallos, and an Ecuadoran couple, Milton and Carmen Gurado, who are pastors. The Gurado’s work with an indigenous tribe, the Quecha (pronounced key-schwa), who are regarded as second class people by the majority of Ecuadoran’s, who are called Mestizos (meaning mixed blood). Quecha are migrant people who’s daughters are routinely raped, uneducated, and forced into a life of poverty and subservience. In Yaruqui, a province in Ecuador, there are almost 3,000 Quecha with only one pastor to serve their spiritual needs. We are looking into a model of US ministries to the migrant workers as a way to help these people living under difficult circumstances.

The final evening of the seminar was deeply moving for both me and those who attended. We returned to hotel where Tucker joined us and we had a time of prayer and fellowship, humbled and excited about what God is doing in Ecuador.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Bob, Diane, and me were driven to the airport by our dear brother Pancho at 4 am. Standing in line to get our plane tickets was a large group from Arkansas returning from their missions trip in Ecuador. After a long day of travel, all of their luggage and mine were lost somewhere between Houston and Arkansas. As of Friday morning, our luggage has still not been located.

Ecuador Bound

2007-07-21T04:36:00.000-07:00

I awoke in a cold sweat last night. I dreamed I forgot my passport and missed my flight to Ecuador! Needless to say, that's not beyond the realm of possibilities, so I'm packing carefully today! This will be a very quick trip. I arrive at midnight on Sunday, teach Monday through Wednesday, then leave at 6 am on Thursday. In these three days, I will have an opportunity to share the tools of Committed to Freedom and listen to the concerns and experiences of Ecuadoran pastors regarding how to effectively help survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I'm not sure if I'll be able to post any entries on the trip, but will try to do so. Keep me, this trip, and these new friends in your prayers. We will need to listen carefully to know the next step that God wants us to take to help survivors find freedom.
www.committedtofreedom.org

NYC Trip

2007-07-17T06:48:00.000-07:00

I drove in last night from my trip to NYC. I have to say it was great to be home, but the drive alone really exhausted me, especially because I had the same stomach flu that my NYC friends had. Made the drive challenging, to say the least!

The seminar at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC on Saturday, 7/7/07, was great. There were almost 50 people there. I could see the "ah ha" moments throughout the day. Even though the teaching pace is very fast, the seminar always seems to be a door opener to help abuse survivors jump-start their recovery process. The Diaconate (who sponsor the seminar) did a great job of putting this together. This is an annual event that they hostand I think it was my fifth year of presenting this.

I taught two retreats for Brooklyn Teen Challenge last week after the seminar. The first was for men and the second was for women. The men's retreat was quite challenging because so many of the participants arrive with iron and stone walls up, thinking this had nothing to do with them. Of course, the retreat process dissolves those walls of hurt and fear, and by the end I saw real life changes taking place. One young man actually apologized to me for being so unreceptive the first day. Another man who spent twenty years in prison saw the application of the tools I teach as a way to move beyond the scars he carried with him from prison - not just his childhood. We actually ran over our scheduled time because they asked so many questions and saw the very real applications of what I taught to their addiction recovery too.

The women's retreat was equally amazing. Several of the women had been to the retreat from the previous year and heard the information in a different way. This happens because they are at a different place in their lives, but they came to new places of experiencing God and received new layers of healing. That's the thing about abuse recovery, it is one step at a time, layers exposed and healed, then new layers and new strength occurs. One woman who had already been through the retreat finally used her voice in such an honest way that she clearly saw for the first time how deeply injured she was by the bitterness she carried. The depth of pain was almost breathtaking at the beginning of the retreat. The depth of healing was completely breathtaking at the end.

In between all of these seminars and retreats, we threw a surprise birthday party for our worship leader, Cindy. She flew in from Colorado to be with us. We had great fun as her NYC friends gathered to share a meal with her, let her know how special she is to us, and then we topped it all off by hiring a singing telegram "Birthday Fairy" to publicly let the world know about her birthday. As I surveyed all of us who gathered to celebrate this precious friend, I realized every one of us had experienced devastating abuse and suffering, and yet here we were, laughing, enjoying life, free to honor each other. It was a beautiful thing and a true testimony to the grace of Christ in our lives and in our journeys.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Made it to NYC

2007-07-06T15:28:00.000-07:00

I was able to visit with family for a few days and just arrived in NYC. I teach a seminar tomorrow at Redeemer Presbyterian in Manhattan. The traffic was really light (by NYC standards) and I made it through to Brooklyn without a problem. I'm very tired and need to get myself settled before tomorrow begins. I love NYC. I had dinner at a Brooklyn diner and just walked the sidewalks, enjoying the diversity and the sheer number of people. The energy of this city never ceases to settle in deep places in my soul.
www.committedtofreedom.org

On the Road

2007-07-04T04:13:00.000-07:00

I drove about 11 hours yesterday in very heavy interstate traffic. It was almost eventful when a woman decided to come over in my lane at the very same place where I was, but I skidded to the next lane without a collision. Remarkably, there wasn't a vehicle in that lane - remarkable because it was bumper to bumper traffic and we were all going about 70 mph. Other than than, it was just a long day. I stop to visit family for the next few days before I go on to NYC. As I drove and listened to music and news, I was struck with deep sadness over all that we, the people, have lost over the past few years. Driving gives you lots of time to think. Driving at such high speeds with so many people going in different directions, I just couldn't help but reflect on how much the gasoline that powered all of us costs our sons and daughters, and other nations' sons and daughters. It made me want to pull over and walk, but of course, I didn't. I'm as addicted to oil as the next guy. It seems like everything is broken, yet we keep using it, even when it's dysfunctional and wrong. Today is the 4th of July - and I pray that we, as American people, reflect long and hard about what it was we were supposed to be and look long and hard at what we've become.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Preparation for NYC

2007-07-02T05:26:00.000-07:00

Today, my staff and I will be preparing for my trip to NYC. Packing, last minute articles to write, getting the car ready for a long cross county drive, and spending time with my family will fill the day's activities. En route to NYC, I will be able to visit my parents and brother, so that's a nice bonus for me. I hope to post entries during the trip, but that will depend on my Internet access, which shouldn't be a problem. I will be teaching a seminar for Redeemer Presbyterian Church on July 7th, and then conducting two retreats (one for men, one for women) for Brooklyn Teen Challenge. Between these meetings, I will work on our retreats in November and getting things arranged for that. I expect great things to come from these three events next week and know God is already preparing people for a surprise encounter with love and peace.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Stroke

2007-06-29T08:44:00.001-07:00

My mother-in-law had a massive stroke last night. The prognosis is not good and many difficult decisions will need to be made over the next few weeks. This comes just before I leave for NYC and then on to Ecuador.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Film Project

2007-06-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

One of the great challenges we have is how to duplicate what we do at a Committed to Freedom retreat. How do we maintain the quality, integrity, and effectiveness of our retreats? Yesterday, a team of remarkably creative people met to take the first steps toward producing a Retreat Kit that includes beautifully filmed sessions which will be shown in combination with local team leadership. We believe this is the best way to grow beyond what we've done in the past, in a way that is easily duplicated with the highest quality control. This will be a HUGE undertaking with a budget that will probably be about $100,000 for production costs. We trust God to provide these funds and the talented, dedicated people we will need to see it through to completion.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Power Outage

2007-06-27T04:41:00.001-07:00

Last night, we received a lot of wind and rain - actually more wind than rain. I heard a huge explosion and the neighborhood went dark. A transformer's breaker broke (non-technical explanation). I sat outside as the sun slipped out of sight. Mosquitoes swarmed me in the still, dark air. I was once again reminded of the tremendous suffering and stark existence that so many people endure on this spinning planet. I knew we would have power soon, and sure enough, the trucks arrived and re-set the breaker and POOF!! there was light. Light, air conditioning, television, microwave and I could only think about my brothers and sisters sitting in the dark, fearing for their lives, wondering if they would make it through another night. I am not thankful for what I have as much as I am saddened for what they don't have. Stewardship of what I am the recipient of comes to mind now and I feel a deep sense of responsibility to do something kind and just.
http://www.committedtofreedom.org/

Community

2007-06-26T06:54:00.000-07:00

I've never been particularly fond of exercise, but have tried to discipline myself to walk or bike ride or swim on a fairly regular basis. I've done it because it's good for me. I've done it because I was supposed to in order to be healthy. I've never done it because I love to exercise! In other words, I seriously lack motivation. There are many reasons for this that I won't go into right now, but most of them are legitimate. Several weeks ago, I began walking with two other people. They are very independent thinkers and completely out of the box. This translates into lively conversation as we share books, articles, ideas, and life circumstances with each other. Before you know it, we've walked a brisk three miles. That's the value of community. When we tackle difficult issues in our lives, do things we know we need to do but don't want to, it is easier when we don't go it alone. It makes the journey more complicated in many ways - we are different ages with different abilities so we must accommodate each other - but it makes the journey do-able.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Quick Trip

2007-06-24T05:18:00.000-07:00

My son, a university student, is leaving next week for a 5 week military training. Our schedules have all been pretty hectic. He has a very demanding job, plus college, plus ROTC/Guard duty and hasn't been able to come home for quite some time, so I took a quick trip to visit him Friday and came home Saturday. I actually spent more time driving than we spent together! I stayed in his starkly furnished apartment (brought my own bedding and towel!) and got pretty amused that all of his drinking glasses were actually olive drab cantines or water bottles. We grabbed what time we could get between his work schedule on Friday and Saturday. Dinner, a long conversation, a movie, and then breakfast were what we had time for. It was great to have even a few hours together before he's out of contact with us for over a month. It's always worth the effort to do what you have to do to stay connected with those you love.
http://www.committedtofreedom.org/

Shots

2007-06-20T13:54:00.000-07:00

I ran away from home when I was 4 years old. We were living in Germany and I had to get immunizations before we could return to the U.S. When I was 18, I lived in the Philippines and had to get immunizations, and both my mom and my husband (then my boyfriend) had to hold me down to get the shots. In other words, I'm a needle-phobe and it's a very, very bad case of the phobia! Now, I am 53 and preparing for a trip to Ecuador to teach a Pastoral Care Training Seminar. All by myself, I called and made an appointment for necessary immunizations. I drove myself there, got 5 shots without adult supervision, and didn't even run away! I am such a big, brave girl!!
www.committedtofreedom.org

My Husband

2007-06-17T07:04:00.000-07:00

Today, Father's Day, I must honor a beautiful man, father, and grandfather - My husband Tim. He has sacrificed everything for our two children and grandson. His heart is so tender toward them that it sometimes takes my breath away. In all of life's struggles, he has provided for them, blessed them with his love, and loved me well. I do not take this blessing for granted. His family knows, beyond a doubt, that his love for us is strong and sure. I know many cannot say these things, and for that I am truly sad, but today I must honor one man who is a fabulous example of love and integrity.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Editing

2007-06-15T05:10:00.001-07:00

For the past week, I've been editing the Connected Voices manuscript - which is sometimes more exhausting than writing the first draft! I've gotten some interesting feedback. Interesting because of what each person who reads it shares with me. There's the mechanical feedback - punctuation, grammar, caps, lower case, quotes, etc. Then there's the content feedback - where it hits someone, what the ideas do when they are written one way versus another. I am very excited about this book and pray that we can find a publisher who will see what an important contribution this is to the vast array of abuse recovery resources out there.
www.committedtofreedom.org

End Round One!

2007-06-11T04:51:00.000-07:00

Friday afternoon, I completed the manuscript of Connected Voices! Yeehaw! I have several sets of eyes looking at it right now for mechanical editing and content. The feedback has been so helpful. This week I plan to sit with the manuscript and tease it out a bit more before I send it off to (hopefully!!) find a publisher.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Book Writing

2007-06-08T06:50:00.000-07:00

I am down to completing the last few chapters of my new book, "Connected Voices." I vowed on Monday that this week would not end with this manuscript unfinished and I can see light at the end of the tunnel. Writing this book has taken its toll on me just because of the stories it includes. I believe it will be an important book for abuse survivors to break out of their personal isolation.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Microwave

2007-06-03T16:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I loathe cooking just about as much as a person can. I believed that God smiled upon me when microwave's were invented. Pavlov's dog might salivate when a bell is sounded, but my family learned that the sound of dinner being ready was marked by those annoying high pitched beeps and they responded accordingly.

My son's first attempt at cooking a pizza when he was in elementary school revealed a great deal about my culinary skills. He placed a frozen pizza on a plastic plate that I often cooked on in our microwave and proceeded to put it in the hot oven where it melted. He had no idea because I'm not sure he had ever really seen me bake anything. He did the best he could with the information he had. Oops!

Anyway, both of my adult children are excellent cooks - mostly because they are survivors of my legendary culinary catastrophes. Now, my husband and I are "empty nesters" and our microwave is the primary appliance used for disseminating food in a "prepared" form. It worked well for us until yesterday. Yesterday, the unthinkable happened. Our microwave broke!! It makes noise, the light still works, but it is gone!

If you don't hear from us in the next few weeks, perhaps it's because we're too weak to write. Someone should probably check on us.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Human

2007-05-31T07:24:00.000-07:00

I feel human for the first time in about a week today! Whew!

The retreat for men and women in Iowa was so rich and textured it is difficult to convey. My staff of four women and three men wondered why we hadn't tried this mix before. There were people who arrived very nervous about having those of the opposite gender also attending, but by the retreat's conclusion, it became a tremendous example of health. One woman approached me and my male co-leader and looked this man square in the eye and said how wonderful it was to hear his voice as an abuse survivor and as a healthy man. She stopped seeing gender and began seeing hope.

There were several married couples who arrived with deep wounds and deep hope that something positive would come. They were not disappointed. There was such an outpouring of God's lavish love on these couples that I felt as if I were standing on holy ground. The fact is, I was.

My leadership team bonded together like a grand family of brothers and sister, joined by love and focus. Each of us was profoundly impacted by the privilege of walking alongside each other and those who attended. Individual journeys meshed and our own personal healings impacted each other.

This retreat was sponsored by the Catholic Diocese of Davenport, Hope and Healing Ministries. We incorporated some Catholic spiritual practices at different times during the retreat as optional. One beautiful experience for me was that I was asked to read a portion of Scripture during the Saturday evening Mass. Some of my team attended that Mass and we received a blessing from the presiding Priest. We were truly brothers and sisters in Christ and it was sacred for all of us.

As the retreat concluded, Reconciliation was offered, again as an option for those who wanted to participate. The Priest who offered Reconciliation said to one of our retreat participants, "Go in peace, you have suffered enough."

http://www.committedtofreedom.org/

Recovery

2007-05-30T09:32:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor yesterday and it seems that I was close to pneumonia. I am not on my second day of antibiotics and feeling much better than even yesterday. One more night of sleep and medication and I should feel human again. For now, I am spending time pulling together some loose ends from the Iowa retreat and will dive back in to saving the world in a few days.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Retreat in Iowa

2007-05-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

The retreat in Iowa was amazing, sacred, holy. I will write more. We battled sickness and fatigue the entire weekend, but these things always come at a high price. I am still sick, so I will be leaving for the doctor in a few minutes. All I can say is that I saw men and women set free, marriages restored, and life return. Peace
www.committedtofreedom.org

Team Arrives in Iowa

2007-05-24T05:52:00.000-07:00

Our team of two women and three men arrived in Iowa yesterday with no problems (always a good thing when you're flying!). We met with another team member at our hotel who drove in from Omaha and had dinner together. Today our final team member joins us and we will meet for breakfast and then on to our retreat facility for training and set up. Because this retreat is Catholic appropriate, we will meet with a priest from the Davenport diocese who will brief our team (composed of Catholics and non-Catholics) regarding Catholic practices. The participants arrive tomorrow at noon.

Allergy

2007-05-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

Well, as I've said before, there seem to be weird circumstances that often accompany our retreats. Not looking for the boogey man here, but there's always something odd just before or during every retreat!! Anway, I've had health issues for a number of years that nobody can actually pin down, but from time to time my eyes almost swell closed and my face and neck break out in hives that are very disfiguring. I did some cleaning yesterday and I think my encounter with some serious dust when I emptied the vaccuum triggered an allergic reaction that began last night. I awoke this morning to a face that looks like I've been hit with a baseball bat. For this retreat, I guess my "inner beauty" will have to come through because my "outer beauty" looks like a meat grinder got to it! It hasn't stopped me and won't stop me, but man does this get old (and really humiliating!).
www.committedtofreedom.org

Waiting

2007-05-20T06:21:00.000-07:00

The weather has been beautiful this weekend and I have taken some time to be outside, to listen, to soak in the wonder of God's natural world. My team leaves for Iowa this week. The shipments have been made, training has taken place, materials have been assembled. Now, I wait. Wait and listen. Collecting myself and nourishing my soul. Waiting to go.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Bizarre Circumstances

2007-05-16T08:39:00.000-07:00

Our men's and women's retreat is next weekend in Iowa and my team is preparing for this new phase of our ministry. Today, our retreat materials will be shipped to the retreat facility, our training is almost complete and we are in the midst of spiritual and personal preparation. I am always surprised by, yet never surprised by, the bizarre circumstances that often surround any retreat. Personal turmoil. Illness. Accidents. Family crisis. Spiritual confusion. All of these are at play at one level or another with my leadership team, those who plan to attend, and with myself. I suppose I should write a book one day just about the events that surround the majority of retreats we've put on over the past fifteen years. No science fiction or horror writer could come up with the stuff we've experienced. Darkness and lies never let go without a fight.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Mother's Day Peace

2007-05-14T05:09:00.000-07:00

The origins of Mother's Day were not because of a greeting card company. The origins were because women wanted to pray for peace, to raise children in a world characterized by respect and tolerance, and to celebrate the nurturing role of motherhood as a means to accomplish world peace. Yesterday, I participated in a Mother's Day prayer vigil for peace. I reflected on the powerful impact that a nurturing care-giver can have on the shaping of a life. Today, I want you to be nice, share with others, and hold hands when crossing the street!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Training Day

2007-05-13T05:26:00.000-07:00

Friday was training day for my staff as we prepared for our first retreat for both men and women in Iowa. These are new training programs, so they helped me refine it and gave me important feedback which will help me to improve our effectiveness. Preparation and strategy is everything. Happy Mother's Day all.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Passed Up

2007-05-11T05:43:00.000-07:00

I am in the process of re-establishing my exercise routine. For reasons I won't go into here, my health has been up and down and really impaired exercise. I finally got my bicycle adjusted to facilitate riding for me and it is nice to be able to ride again. HOWEVER, I am REALLY out of shape! I feel like the little old lady I am (a temporary situation, but a real one for now!). Anyway, I rode last night for the second time this week. There was a threat of severe thunderstorms, so all the avid cyclists stayed in a small loop of town that is a large 1 1/4 mile circle. Usually they go out on the road, but lighting is nothing to take a chance on, so they rode where I ride. So here I am, going SLLLOOOOOOWWWWW and all these svelt, fit people are zipping past me, carrying on normal conversations as if they were having coffee. As I watched them pass me again and again and again, I became energized - not because they are svelt and fit, but because THEY PASSED ME!!!!!! One day! One day I'll at least be able to hold my own (I hope!). To move on, you move slow at first, but as strength grows, you move on!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Thunder

2007-05-10T06:36:00.000-07:00

It poured last night. Rain, thunder, lightning came in abundance. I was meeting a friend for coffee and conversation when my three year old grandson called me. "It's raining and the thunder is scaring me" he said. I reminded him that Mama was there to help him not be afraid and that it would go away soon. "Okay." was his response, and then he hung up. As always, it's important to be honest about your fear, use your voice (even when everyone else knows that there is rain and thunder!), and take the time to be reassured by that your storm will eventually go away. Okay?
www.committedtofreedom.org

On the Road from Georgia

2007-05-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

I am driving home after accompanying my husband to a Teen Challenge conference in Georgia. The conference went well and the facility was gorgeous. Most of all, it was great to be together for a change. We're in Tennessee right now and will be home later today. The upcoming week will be full of preparation for our Committed to Freedom retreat for men and women in Iowa. This will be a unique retreat because it is re-formatted to be Catholic appropriate since the Davenport Diocese is sponsoring us. We are excited about this new opportunity and expect God to do a continue work of healing for all who attend.
www.committedtofreedom.org

New York Seminar

2007-04-29T18:47:00.000-07:00

I am in New York, where I taught a Beyond Abuse seminar at Brooklyn Tabernacle yesterday. The seminar was well attended and much was accomplished to help abuse survivors and others who came to better understand the dynamics of abuse. This morning, I met with the pastor of the Christian Cultural Campus in Brooklyn. This is the largest church in New York. They are very interested in what Committed to Freedom is doing. I am very tired, but this has been a good weekend. I fly home tomorrow and then leave for Georgia on Tuesday with my husband for a regional Teen Challenge conference.
www.committtedtofreedom.org

Plano, TX

2007-04-26T05:19:00.000-07:00

I returned last night from Plano, Texas (in the Dallas/Ft.Worth area) where I gave a presentation to the wonderful leadership of St. Mark the Evangelist Catholic Church. I stayed with one of my board members and was shown such kind and gracious hospitality by her and her husband. There were funnel clouds that tormented us just after the presentation and the plane ride home was remarkably bumpy (I was on a small commuter plane). I leave tomorrow for NYC to present a Beyond Abuse seminar at Brooklyn Tabernacle. The seminar will be from 9 am to 4 pm and held in the sanctuary. I believe there is a $5 registration fee to be paid at the door.

Flying out to Texas, my heart broke. I flew from our tiny airport in Hot Springs on a plane that held only a few people. A young man was on his way back to Iraq. He is National Guard and was home for a brief R & R. By the time he gets home, his tour will be about 15 months long. His wife's eyes were swollen from grief. His two children were toddlers. The sadness in his eyes took my breath away. We spoke briefly in Texas before going our separate ways. Me to present a seminar on abuse awareness. He to war where abuse is rampant.
www.committedtofreedom.org

water hose

2007-04-22T14:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in Arkansas, so I decided to do some yard work (something I NEVER do!). Today I have several bruises and swollen joints to prove it! I am about to do some travelling again, so I just wanted to be outside and doing some much needed work. My 3 year old grandson came over later in the afternoon to "help" me. He helped by watering the trees, flowers, and then me!! He chased me around the front yard with the water hose laughing so loud I thought he would explode! I got a reprieve when a neighbor drove by, and then the water hose was turned on the passing car, but not for long! We both got soaked and had such a great time together. Then, we loaded up in the car - completely soaked - and went to visit my husband who was helping a Spanish speaking congregation conduct an outreach. We drove up soggy, showed off our sogginess, and then left to get ice cream. These ARE the good old days!
www.committedtofreedom.org

175th Year

2007-04-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 175th anniversary of the creation of Hot Springs National Park. This is a eclectic community and it's natural thermal springs, trees, mountains, rivers, and quirky history have been the backdrop for the development of Committed to Freedom. As many visitors come together today for this celebration, the staff of Committed to Freedom continue to work diligently to bring hope to survivors of childhood abuse. At the end of this day, I will most likely take a walk up on one of our many mountain trails and draw inspiration and strength once more from the beautiful creation of God that has become known as Hot Springs National Park.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Violence

2007-04-17T06:53:00.000-07:00

I read the accounts of the Virginia Tech shootings, I read of the continued graphic and violent wave of online child pornography, I read of the escalation of violence in Iraq and the Middle East, it is all so very, very sad and disturbing. I'm reminded one more time of our incredible capacity for beauty as well as evil. I have the power to do only one thing to respond to the continued downward spiral - be a person of peace. In the face of abuse, violence, depravity, and war, I choose to spread peace where ever I can, when ever I can. If not me, who? If not now, when? The answers: ME and NOW.
www.committedtofreedom.org

IRS

2007-04-10T06:56:00.000-07:00

Well, this isn't a "warm fuzzy" entry, but it is a good one. Committed to Freedom is now five years into our incorporation and we were issued a provisional 501(c)(3) ruling in the beginning of our existence (the norm for any non-profit). Yesterday, we got our permanent ruling by the IRS that we are all grown up - a continued determination that we are a 501(c)(3). So let those tax exempt donations roll in!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Easter

2007-04-08T14:15:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrated the Resurrection of Christ! My grandson spent the weekend with us and this morning he woke up to a small green plant (to teach him about living) and an Easter bucket full of animal cracker and raisin filled plastic eggs. Later in the day, we joined family and friends for our annual Easter pot luck lunch. Great food and time together made the day wonderful. Everyone fell asleep on the floor, sofa, and recliners! The kids kept playing, hyper on sugar and new audiences! I covered my grandson with kisses and hugs, and he returned them to me. I thought as we lavished love on each other that THIS is how we worship the Resurrected Christ - by loving each other and watching that love grow and return. Happy Easter!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Maundy Thursday

2007-04-05T19:36:00.000-07:00

I've just returned from Maundy Thursday services where feet or hands were washed, as Christ did with his disciples just before he celebrated his "Last Supper" with his intimate friends. The choir sang a song that pulled at my heart, "In Remembrance of Me." This song is filled with great meaning for me of my early days as a Christian. I couldn't help but tear up.

As I close this day, I realized that it is now, in the Passion of the Christ 2000 years ago, the time when betrayal is taking place, abuse is taking place, horror is taking place, civil and religious injustice is taking place, and the final moments of Christ's work on this wretched planet are taking place. I am overwhelmed with an awareness of the deep love of my brother Christ, the ferocious love of my Creator Parent (Father God), and the deep wisdom of my maternal guide, The Holy Spirit. Tomorrow will be called "Good."
www.committedtofreedom.org

Photo Project

2007-04-05T15:24:00.000-07:00

We are doing some major reconstruction in how things are done. With growth comes many challenges - like how do we duplicate me? How do we duplicate so many of the unique and powerful things we do during retreats? The answers to these challenges haven't come easy. One major undertaking right now is a HUGE photo project that will eventually be used during the retreats. This has channeled all the creativity of my amazing partners on staff and we're extremely energized by what's developing. We have about two weeks to finish the photos before we begin editing to place them in a context that will make sense.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Anniversary Love and Life

2007-04-04T04:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my husband and I celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary. I know it's cliche, but it seems like we began our marriage just last week as two idealistic 19 year old college students - clueless about what we were getting into. The years have flown by with speed that takes my breath away. Most of the day was spent working in our respective ministries (my husband is the director of Teen Challenge and I am the director of Committed to Freedom). We both came home a bit early and went out for dinner at a fabulous restaurant. We were stuffed from the meal and took a leisurely stroll through our historic downtown district of Hot Springs, Arkansas. As we walked, hand in hand, we saw our daughter and our grandson playing in the park near a thermal spring, and ended our romantic evening playing with two of the three greatest products of our love and life together (our son is away at college).
www.committedtofreedom.org

Palm Sunday

2007-04-02T04:14:00.000-07:00

This weekend was disappointing and wonderful, all at the same time. My husband and I were supposed to go away for the weekend to celebrate our 34th wedding anniversary (which is on April 3), but a situation arose that prevented us from being able to get away. We were not able to spend the time we had hoped, but did manage to have a special weekend just being together. We joined our daughter, grandson and his other grandmother for a beautiful Palm Sunday service. There was a donkey and a singing church choir who led a processional around the block and then back into the sanctuary. We all had palm branches and waved them as we followed the donkey and his singing friends. Our grandson wore his cool new sunglasses and was able to convince my husband to carry him for the entire procession. About mid-procession, the donkey decided he had enough and just stopped walking. We were all stalled for a moment, but then the choir started moving and singing again and we all passed up the little donkey, petting his nose as we continued. It was a great start to Holy Week.
www.committedtofreedom.org

online groups

2007-03-28T06:05:00.000-07:00

This past Monday, we began the third online discussion group using my book, The Uncaged Project. This group, like the others, is made up of people who attended a Committed to Freedom Retreat. The chat room technology allows us to connect, have meaningful discussions, support and encourage each other, and take the journey toward abuse recovery and healing together, even though we are dispersed throughout the US. The second online discussion group is about to close - we've gone through about 17 weeks together of growth and encouragement. The first group closed earlier this year, but remains a group - still meeting periodically in cyberspace to do what support groups do - support and encourage each other. This has been a remarkably rewarding experience for me and as we grow, I am excited to see how it continues to develop.
www.committedtofreedom.org

Green Puddles

2007-03-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

Everything is covered with pollen right now. It's what makes Spring possible - new life, fruitfulness, flowers, butterflies, birds. It's also what causes unbelievable misery for people with allergies. I'm surrounded by red eyed, runny nose, swollen faced zombies who are almost incapacitated by pollen. It's beginning to sprinkle now and as the rain drops fall, the pollen from the air is collected and anchored to the ground. The puddles that form in my front yard are dusted with a brilliant green film. Hope from the zombies is falling from the clouds!
www.committedtofreedom.org

Higher Ground

2007-03-26T06:55:00.000-07:00

My 3 year old grandson and I went walking up on one of our mountains in Hot Springs, Arkansas this weekend. It was a beautiful, warm day and there was lots of new life stirring. As he ran ahead of me on the trail, a tiny little snake scurried across our path and he freaked out. In a heartbeat, he had climbed up almost on top of my shoulders to get away and let me protect him. It was on the higher ground of his Grannie's shoulders that he felt safe - certain that I could protect him from the big bad snake that was about 10 inches long. Perspective is everything!
www.committedtofreedom.org